19 years, she was breathing through a breathing tube for 17 years, she has done 14 times anesthesia, received nine critical condition, can the smell flowers, can not sing, can not be strenuous exercise girl, to have dignity.learning and living. In this year's college entrance examination, she was out of the test score of 583, was a few of her favorite school declined to ... ...
A thin gauze around the neck, the thumb-sized piece of metal fixed in the throat, the central hole was issued air hiss - it is not optional accessories, but Zhou Caiwei breathing "organ" .
The first class in junior high school, teachers command Zhou Caiwei remove the necklace around his neck. Under the watchful eye of the class, Zhou Caiwei forced a smile, said: "Teacher, this 'necklace' really can not afford to pick."
Suddenly into a quiet room. Zhou Caiwei mouth spread is not a normal voice, but without the sound of vocal fold vibration of air, sounds like "private."
This "necklace" is Zhoucai Wei's lifeline. 19-year-old, she has been wearing for 17 years. From the baby models for the adult model.
19 years, she has done 14 times anesthesia, received nine critical condition, two signs have disappeared, cost million.
College entrance examination this year, Yichang, Hubei Province this girl out of the test score of 583, beyond the local one admission line of 12 points.
Her vision is to study agriculture, as the farmers' income as the Yuan Longping, dreaming of "Wo cool shade", in consultation superb site, more than 10 schools are "kind to remind" her, it could not complete their studies.Her favorite one Agricultural University, said understanding, but politely told her, "Your physical condition can not field research." She grumbled: "No matter how hard I are unqualified students."
Two years old, she was diagnosed with severe congenital heart defects. Heart repair surgery, damage to her trachea, to keep the proliferation of granulation in the trachea, leaving only a small hair-like void, can not breathe. Eventually, she accepted the tracheotomy tube to breathe into relying on artificial person.
She can not run fiercely, not jump shots, special care should be eating - not to choke, can not be blocked, watermelon, banana fruits as common, have almost come to the death of her edge. Was not a kindergarten for her nursery, to school to sign "contracts of life and death." She was also want to learn Taekwondo, put the clothes are bought, standing in front of journeying to see the training center, training center may be afraid of something happening that would not take her. Small to large, she was always "chosen" children.
Plucking can not feel any different with their peers. Physical education each congregation on her, slowly playing volleyball, with more time to finish other people several times 800 meters. Along the runway, her ear to hear the sound of his neighing severe throat. She and her classmates, like Japanese comics, cartoon T-shirt to wear, like wind chimes hanging from the ceiling. Even talking about his surgery, she also like to say a common cold, she smiled and shrugged and spread his hands, "anesthetic - eyes closed - eyes - complete thing!"
She rarely cried. Mother, a thoracotomy, Plucking the chest stuck several blood-stained catheter, she brought people to the mirror, looked for a long time, and then quietly closed his eyes. Mother saw her lips trembling, but fighting back a tear did not fall.
If being bullied, she never show weakness. Primary school, boys in the same class under her window, shouting: "dumb! Dumb!" She rushed down the stairs carrying his gun, the boys a pass on the TV drama "swept."
She does not need their sympathy for others, on the contrary, her compassion for others. See street beggars, she begged his father to the others 10 dollars.At that time, Plucking home for her doctor, already heavily indebted. Father sleeping mats hospital basement, rent to cover the military coat - a day of living was $ 3.
She was the most disgusting as heterogeneous. Breathing tube two or three times a day to clear secretions, if you just need to deal with in school, she lied, "the toilet", shut the door, "up to two minutes to get", and then calmly come out.In her view, the process pipe cleaning in public, "so there is no dignity!" She would like to live a decent and meaningful.
According to the doctor, each one breathing the air tube will make people uncomfortable, but Zhou Caiwei denied. Than no breath, loss of sense of smell nose, she had become accustomed to the cold part of the body casing.
Someone asked what her favorite season is winter, it? Because winter wear scarves to cover her throat, eye-catching sleeve. She said: "No, no need to cover, this is me." She prefers to wear a hat, felt "a sense of security."
Four years ago, Lunar stop the "stenosis" of treatment. At that time, Zhou mother holding money to ask for help, can not a hospital willing to accept Plucking the doctor directly, said: "can not cure."
Can not cure, it means that she will breathe life casing, life can not issue their own true voice, and eventually to heart and lung failure. Decade, Chow did not receive any media. Dry photography week my father to borrow money, Waner Ming work, that only in this way "on their own" atmosphere, in order for Lunar get self-esteem.
Over the years, Plucking a better understanding than their peers, "the sense of time," she get up very early every day, Notepad, filled her schedule to do everything. She went anywhere with a book, gains and air to quickly turn a few pages. As long as not to see the doctor, or stand up too uncomfortable, she does not miss a lesson. Excellent results, she was high school where the Yichang Yiling Wu Yimin, vice president praised as a "model for students."
In addition to school, she was kind enough to race against time, to do more.Her vocal cords not vibrating, she went to learn the guitar "vocal cords" refers to the next in the tremor. She practiced yoga, completely ignoring the issue of rapid breathing tube holes scream, face neck movements, she smiled disapprovingly. She can not learn taekwondo, women on the front of the book to learn a little self-defense. To read the original comics, she and her friends study Japanese. She also burned a few dishes, Pork and fried eggplant is very good. Her online space literarily, the world is full of young people's thinking.
"Life is what you have a platform, then jump up, jump to jump how high how high." Zhou Caiwei than painted constantly, "overstating" the action. Her death is more than fear of ridicule - to participate in activities once performances, she was "a death dress, take a sickle on the table", and made the audience laughter.
Today's Lunar has a built a big girl. Her beauty, wearing a white dress, when will with white high-heeled sandals, and then carefully do the ears on a small pale pinkish purple pearl color card. If you are wearing a blue sweatshirt, you have to wear a blue bow hair band, "are out of my own." She said her mother told her girls, learn to wear high heels before the United States.
"Could have been kept a piece of gauze in here." She pointed to the throat, said casing holes than painted, so you can effectively reduce the infection, but she does not want, because "what is not is a cold, it does not matter, I'm a girl." Gauze very large, will be interesting to beauty, she willing to bear the pain.
She interviewed the gap grew out of a bag balm to rub, slight head, eyelashes Hushanhushan. That is a good part of her quiet moments, most of the time, with the words of her students, "she especially like Xing."
Some students said she was cute, and some students said her strange, and some students said she was "Girls Hero." Students know, Plucking is the most despised "Neets", rogue and suicide, said she was "like a bar counter of the fish, no sound, but try not to sink."
This looks like a "necklace" thing binding her to experience the world of the senses. The girl on the delicate features, she can not smell flowers, pot taste, she is a person who does not smell. She longed to swim, breathing tube may be open pores must not be water, she could only wear bathing suits, sitting poolside tap with spray. She longed to sing, she can only send the sound flow, but this does not prevent her classmates to sing karaoke with OK, even though she only smiles next to applaud. According to the Lunar mother recalls, "put on the casing before the Lunar good voice heard."
This does not prevent her favorite music. She loves Jay, love rock music, favorite Beethoven's "fate" and "Moonlight," the prelude. She said she heard of the fate of the break.
Her favorite writer is Yasunari Kawabata, attracting her, is "his work in describing the delicate changes of heart." She also holding a "Tale of Genji," read it twice. Her appreciation of the Japanese anime "Nausicaa" in the brave fighting girl Nawu Sika, anime ends with a: "no matter how painful, we must live."
Sometimes she would sleep in bed thinking about life and death. She consoled himself: "We are creatures, always death, this is a natural law."
No one can measure the length of life of this girl, including doctors. Breathing tube to her lungs and bronchial infections often, she always fever, cough, lung large shadow. She told reporters, pointing to his chest, "Well, here, or a bad heart, lungs too."
Today, she reported the China Three Gorges University electrical automation.To be safe, she will repeat all of the volunteers filled out fields are the name of the university. But in the end whether the "admitted" or unknown. Three Gorges University, said teachers had Plucking, even if you get first-class scholarship in the school, the next job recruitment, employer see your situation, may not be you.
But these did not affect the laughing Plucking the University of the Imagination.University is the day after class she heard, crazy night out, which, she said, "I still learn it." She also invited a friend to open a shop, selling outdoor products.Determined to PubMed, Ph.D. study, researchers do, she will even take the initiative to ask people: "I do, to participate in the legend of the thesis it?" Of course, she is also eager to love, the ideal boyfriend, it must be the "Sunshineboys. "
Like the most is she busy doing experiments at the university laboratory scene, when asked about the future will become a white-haired old lady scientist, Zhou Caiwei thought for a moment, along with the sound of breathing air casing She gently said: "I survive so long."
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